This is not what you think it is. This post is not about what others can do for you but instead this post is about YOU. You, the one with the super power, the one who can get everything done, the one who multitasks, and goes on and on NON STOP. So guess what I am doing, I am having a heart to heart with you. I’m checking on you.
“Check on your strong friends” is a phrase that we hear so much regarding the friends that have always been strong and that we never see weak. But perhaps we never allow ourselves to be weak? I’m saying we because I know what it’s like. If you know me then you know I love giving definitions for words. The definition of weak that I will be using is “Not able to sustain or exert much weight, pressure, or strain”. I know what it’s like to be that person who is there for everybody. The person that is the safe place for everybody else. Everybody comes to you for advice, prayer, support, etc. but who do you go to? See, the problem with being strong all the time is that nobody sees you as “weak”, because they don’t want to. Part of that same problem is you don’t want to be weak because you have been used to believing that you being strong has been strength to you. I remember when I was talking to a friend and she asked me, “Hey Monica how are you doing being a wife, minister, essential worker, friend, and teacher?” And I said “Well when you put it like that it does sound like a lot.” Do you want to know what I did next? I talked. I shared. I gave myself the opportunity to be “weak”. It’s okay as the one who is strength to everyone else to pause and take a moment and say hey, I don’t feel well today. When you give yourself that moment, then you also give God the opportunity to be able to be strength to you. The word says that God’s strength is made perfect in your weakness. So, I love that you’re strong and we need your strength but we also need your weakness so you can put on God’s strength and not your own. If you’re reading this and you feel like dang Monica is talking to me, I want to challenge you to do a couple of things:
Take a day or two to do something nice for yourself. Whatever you like to do, whether it’s mani/pedi, reading a book, going to the gym, going to the basketball court etc. please do something nice.
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable. Sometimes friends will ask us “Hey is everything okay?” And we will say we are fine when really we’re about to implode. Being vulnerable doesn’t diminish your strength.
After giving yourself permission find a person you can trust and be vulnerable with them. Take a day to let it all out. Remember, your friends may not always see you because they’ve gotten used to you being the strong friend, and you carry it well.
Take a moment to re-prioritize your responsibilities. My favorite way to do this is to get a paper plate and make a pie chart with rough estimates of what’s taking your time and see if everything is in the right place.
Go on vacation! If time and finances allow take some time to enjoy nature and be reset. You can even do a small getaway in the nearest downtown area near your residence.
Remember, you are not for everyone! I know, you have a big heart and you want to help everyone and God looks at your heart. I know you feel like a but is coming because it is; you can not help everyone. You will be tired and worn out and not energized for the people you are actually called to serve if you try to be for everyone. So please, find out who you are called to and serve them.
These are just a few tips to jumpstart checking on you! We’ve heard it all before because it’s true that you can’t pour from an empty cup! Don’t make self care selfish. Comment down below what steps you’ll take to check on yourself! 👇🏽
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